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  • commented 11 months ago
  • tags: UNH MET AIG HIG TRV
  • Nightmares For Nincompoops


    ( OBAMA-CARE 6 th in a series of unusual stories)



    Emilio Paletta Author



    Copy right 2009



    After completing my overnight shift at General, before heading home, I decided to climb up on a gurney and take a quick snooze. Once I dozed off, I began dreaming, about what things might be like now that Obama-care has been passed.



    When suddenly, off in the distance, I heard the clanging sound of a cow bell. As I opened my eyes, I could hardly believe what I saw. Strolling down the corridor was a farmer, dragging a real live, full fledged, moo-cow!




    Flabbergasted at what I was witnessing, I hopped off the stretcher and ran down the hall, fast as I could. "Sir I said, ' You can't bring your cow in here, this is a hospital!" Highly offended, the cow decided to take a flop. When it hit the floor it splattered all over the place; including me.



    In an attempt to control my emotions, I said, "Please sir, you must leave at once. That's when he began to explain, how he came to be there, in the first place.



    Offering his hand, he said "My names' Hairy Read, pleased to meet ya'. See ma'am, my Nancy's awfully sick and when I called the doctor, he told me to bring her to this here hospital, pronto! So here we is."



    "Has the doctor ever seen your Nancy before?



    "No ma'am!"



    "Did you explain that Nancy is a cow?"



    "Nope! ' and besides, he didn't ask, 'I just told him my Nancy's face got all screwed-up as she began turning green and that she had a terrible case of the trots!' That's when he said, 'Don't waist a minute, take her to the hospital."



    "But sir I said, 'this is a people's hospital, not for animals."



    "That don't matter no-mo, ma'am. Haven't you heard? Under Obamacare, the government is gonna give every last one of us health care." It's a new kinda "Sick Plan"; and the best part we don't have to pay a plug nickel fer it; they's gonna take the money from my old pappy and mammy." Besides, haven't ya herd, everybody's kickin' in an extra $63 bucks to pay fer pre-exsiten' conditions and my Nancy fits the bill, she gets the s--ts at lest once a month."



    I smiled, picked up the phone and called the attending physician to come stat to the ER. Then I called housekeeping and finally put the Hairy and Nancy into an examining room. In the meantime I left to take a quick shower and change.



    Just as I returned, the doctor was entering the new patient's room; before I had a chance to explain.



    Within seconds he came running out holding his nose. "Phew he said, 'Nurse, I think the patient must have expired, it smells like horse shit in there. To wit I said, "Right by-product, wrong animal." That's when I explained there was an old cow, called Nancy in there.'



    Checking to see for himself, he flicked on the light switch.





    To his surprise he said, "I thought you were kidding."



    "What are we supposed to do doctor, I said?"



    "There is not much we can do he said, 'we're obligated to treat the patient, 'cause if we don't, we could be brought up on charges of discrimination; for turning the old cow away!"



    "Not according to the new guidelines I said, 'under Obama-care if the patient is over the hill, they should be put out to pasture, 'cause we're not allowed to do unnecessary testing, that will drive up health care costs.'



    "It's a shame he said, ' those in Congress that voted for this bill should have been made to take the "Hippocratic Oath", before doing so"



    "Oh, but they have I said, 'only their's is called the "Hypo-critic Oath". They don't abide by the old rule of, 'What's Good for the Goose is Good for the Gander," they're exempt. In the meantime doctor, how much Imodium-D are you going to prescribe for this 1600 lb cow?" "About the same amount I'd like to give those idiot's in Congress that voted for Obama-care, he said emphatically!"



    "While I ponder that thought I said, 'I'll call housekeeping, and see what's keeping them.



    As I reached for the phone, I tumbled off the gurney; only then realizing I had just experienced a horrific nightmare; which I'm afraid has come to fruition.






    [ less... ]
    Nightmares For Nincompoops ( OBAMA-CARE 6 th in a series of unusual stories) Emilio Paletta Author Copy right 2009 After completing my overnight shift at General, before heading home, I decided to climb up on a gurney and take a quick snooze. Once I dozed off, I began dreaming, about what things might be like now that Obama-care has been passed. When suddenly, off in the distance, I heard the clanging sound of a cow bell. As I opened my eyes, I could hardly believe what I saw. Strolling down the corridor was a farmer, dragging a real live, full fledged, moo-cow! Flabbergasted at what I was witnessing, I hopped off the stretcher and ran down the hall, fast as I could. "Sir I said, ' You can't bring your cow in here, this is a hospital!" Highly offended, the cow decided to take a flop. When it hit the floor it splattered all over the place; including me. In an attempt to control my emotions, I said, "Please sir, you must leave at once. That's when he began to explain, how he came to be there, in the first place. Offering his hand, he said "My names' Hairy Read, pleased to meet ya'. See ma'am, my Nancy's awfully sick and when I called the doctor, he told me to bring her to this here hospital, pronto! So here we is." "Has the doctor ever seen your Nancy before? "No ma'am!" "Did you explain that Nancy is a cow?" "Nope! ' and besides, he didn't ask, 'I just told him my Nancy's face got all screwed-up as she began turning green and that she had a terrible case of the trots!' That's when he said, 'Don't waist a minute, take her to the hospital." "But sir I said, 'this is a people's hospital, not for animals." "That don't matter no-mo, ma'am. Haven't you heard? Under Obamacare, the government is gonna give every last one of us health care." It's a new kinda "Sick Plan"; and the best part we don't have to pay a plug nickel fer it; they's gonna take the money from my old pappy and mammy." Besides, haven't ya herd, everybody's kickin' in an extra $63 bucks to pay fer pre-exsiten' conditions and my Nancy fits the bill, she gets the s--ts at lest once a month." I smiled, picked up the phone and called the attending physician to come stat to the ER. Then I called housekeeping and finally put the Hairy and Nancy into an examining room. In the meantime I left to take a quick shower and change. Just as I returned, the doctor was entering the new patient's room; before I had a chance to explain. Within seconds he came running out holding his nose. "Phew he said, 'Nurse, I think the patient must have expired, it smells like horse shit in there. To wit I said, "Right by-product, wrong animal." That's when I explained there was an old cow, called Nancy in there.' Checking to see for himself, he flicked on the light switch. To his surprise he said, "I thought you were kidding." "What are we supposed to do doctor, I said?" "There is not much we can do he said, 'we're obligated to treat the patient, 'cause if we don't, we could be brought up on charges of discrimination; for turning the old cow away!" "Not according to the new guidelines I said, 'under Obama-care if the patient is over the hill, they should be put out to pasture, 'cause we're not allowed to do unnecessary testing, that will drive up health care costs.' "It's a shame he said, ' those in Congress that voted for this bill should have been made to take the "Hippocratic Oath", before doing so" "Oh, but they have I said, 'only their's is called the "Hypo-critic Oath". They don't abide by the old rule of, 'What's Good for the Goose is Good for the Gander," they're exempt. In the meantime doctor, how much Imodium-D are you going to prescribe for this 1600 lb cow?" "About the same amount I'd like to give those idiot's in Congress that voted for Obama-care, he said emphatically!" "While I ponder that thought I said, 'I'll call housekeeping, and see what's keeping them. As I reached for the phone, I tumbled off the gurney; only then realizing I had just experienced a horrific nightmare; which I'm afraid has come to fruition.
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